


A White Lie and A Thousand Truths

by J_EnotsoLovely



Series: The Remedy For A Broken Heart [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Childhood, Dialogue Heavy, I don't suggest reading if you haven't seen Whole Cake arc, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nakama, Nakamaship, Or if you don't know about it, Pining, Talking, Talking About the Past, Usopp and Kaya shipping is just background shipping, Usopp is a great frend, lying, white lies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_EnotsoLovely/pseuds/J_EnotsoLovely
Summary: The darker teen sighed, a wave of sadness overwhelming him. He pushed away the taller's foot. "What did they do to you?""Eh? The hell are you on abo--?""They. Them. Whoever it was that made you like this." Usopp gestured vaguely at the blonde, hands shaking as he underwent the full force of that icy blue glare. "Whoever it was that made you so afraid. So disgusted with yourself. What did they do?"
Relationships: Kaya/Usopp (One Piece), Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Usopp & Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: The Remedy For A Broken Heart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840417
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	A White Lie and A Thousand Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Yo!  
> I hope you enjoy.  
> There will be mild Whole Cake Arc spoilers, so if you haven't seen nor have any knowledge of the events in this arc I suggest not reading. I will be tweaking things, so a lot of what will be written doesn't exactly happen in the show but the basis of it will be the same. Pay mind that this story is taking place during an undefined arc, pre-time skip.  
> Please move forward at your discretion.  
> Oh and, a portion of this fic contains lyrics from the song "Why" by NF.

Usopp was nearing sleep when he heard the door to the barracks creep open. The scent of smoke filled the air and the curly haired sniper relaxed his tense body, realizing that it was only Sanji. The silence in the room grew deafening, stifling atmosphere growing to be too much and the tan teen shifted, uncomfortable in his small hammock. 

"The chef noticed. 

“Sorry did I wake you?” He asked, sounding uncharacteristically kind considering the fact that the other was of the male species. 

“Don’t worry about it. I was only dozing anyways.”

“Hm.”

The silence returned,

It was much worse.

“Do you mind lending me an ear?”

Usopp jumped, sweat that he hadn’t known was forming sliding down his face.

“A-am I to assume that in the event this conversation somehow spreads, I’ll have ended up at the bottom of the ocean?”

He could practically _FEEL_ the chef’s smile and sweatdropped, stuck somewhere between being proud at lightening the mood and cowering a bit in fear at the sadistic side of the blond.

“You would be absolutely correct _monsieur_. Other than the fact that I’d likely beat you beyond recognition first.” 

“Of course.” The sniper breathed, considerably paler than five minutes earlier. Yep, sadists. All of them.

“What’s your definition of success? What you want to accomplish is so vauge, how will you know when you’ve made it?”

Usopp thought about it for a moment, lips drawn in a thin line as he pondered. 

“I guess I’ll know I made it when I stop having to lie. When the wild stories I tell myself come true.”

“Sounds reasonable. But you’re on a ship with with Luffy remember? Never a dull moment. Safe to say you’ve reached Nirvana, no?”

“Nah, its not like that.” At the chef’s confused expression, he elaborated. “I just mean that sure, being on a ship with Luffy is amazing, if not life-threatening. He’s my captain, my nakama. But in the end, these’ll be HIS stories, his adventures. HIS journey to being the Pirate King. He’s strong, charismatic, and clearly going to be great. But me? I can hardly defend myself without pissing my pants first.” 

His voice dropped to a whisper, the bitter sensation of loathing beginning to well withing him. “There’s nothing I can do to protect you guys except lie and I’m not even good at that but if you ever tell anyone those words spoken I’ll deny it.” 

Sanji laughed. “Whatever you say, Captain Usopp, great commander of a thousand men.”

The darker teen nodded wisely, a smile gracing his lips as he puffed his chest. “Well spoken, my faithful subordinate.”

There was a calm silence, stretching out so long that Usopp thought the chef had fallen asleep until the blond spoke again, voice low.

"You shouldn't feel too bad. You're closer to your dream than you think. And if _you_ ever tell anyone I said that, I'll maim you." Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing smoke into the air and watching as it dissipated. Then continued. "Me? I don't trust the thoughts that come inside my head. They invade my mind like a plague. They're..they're just filled with _him."_ The taller shook his head slowly, venom lacing the words with a bit of regret.

_Ah._ Usopp thought finally understanding the subject of their conversation. _Zoro._ It was almost painful to watch the two dance around each other, choosing to avoid whatever feelings they might have, instead hashing it out through violence. It was sad, and the sniper wasn't a mind reader, but it seemed like the whole thing had been taking a slow toll on the swordsman. But now...maybe it was just that Sanji was better at hiding his suffering. 

With a heave, the 17 year old twisted to the side, managing an ungraceful roll off of his hammock and onto the floor before dusting off his pajamas and rising to stand next to chef. Already the blonde was talking again, have begun to pace around the room, clearly uneasy.

"I don't trust this _thing_ that beats inside my chest. See, I don't know why but who I am and who I want to be cannot connect."

"Well, who do you want to be?" Usopp asked lightly, keeping his attention focused on the wooden floor design. He knew he was about to cross a line, was close to delving beyond the mask Sanji consistently held up and couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. That it wasn't _him_ the chef should be opening up to.

But it didn't matter anyways since his question had been ignored, left unanswered in favor of a vague statement.

"I- I push away the people that I love the most."

"What, you don't love me?" At the silence, Usopp raised a brow, a bit hurt but knowing it wasn't an intentional insult. "I'm starting to think the only reason you came to me was because I'm the easiest to threaten."

This time, Sanji let out a huff of amusement. "I suppose there's some truth in that. But that's not the only reason." At the sniper's noise of question, he elaborated. "I just figured that you might know about these feelings I have. Considering you and the lady friend Luffy once told me about."

"Ah, Kaya. Yeah, I love her. She doesn't feel the same way sadly. At least, I don't _think_ she does anyways."

"EH??? And you never asked? Confessed? That's beyond stupid, the least you could do was _try."_

Usopp smiled, knowing that was probably about to die, but couldn't help feeling satisfaction regardless. "I could tell you the same thing. But this isn't about me, its you. You're right, normally people want to share love, so why are you pushing him away?"

"I don't want him to know I'm vulnerable."

"Why?"

"It makes me feel weak and so uncomfortable."

The sharpshooter watched as his nakama bent down. burying his hands in his hair. Usopp knew he was pushing the other to the brink with just the pure, yet exceedingly complex simplicity of his questioning and that eventually he'd make the chef snap. But he also knew that his dear friend was in pain, the kind of pain that came from love you thought you could never have. It was a pain that Usopp knew only too well. It was a feeling he'd never wish on anyone, let alone the people he care for. 

And holy fucking _hell,_ if he was going to die, might as well go out with a bang, enlightening his crewmates the way a captain should. He thought it was pretty brave, considering who he was talking to.

"You should talk to him. Tell him Sanji, because if you don't, it'll fester and eventually hurt this crew."

"But it's _sick._ It's _wrong. Can't you see that?"_ The chef's voice was wrought with misery, words falling out robotic as though the blonde had been saying them all his life. The tan teen watched with a mix of frustration and fear as his friend frantically reached for another cigarette, eyes brimming with too many emotions to name.

"It's certainly unorthodox, sure, but--"

"BUT WHAT??? As long at its _LOVE?_ Is that what you were going to say? How awfully romantic you, and completely ignoring the fact that love between men shouldn't even _exist_ in the first place." The coook was standing now, pacing the room furiously and Usopp sent a quick glance to the door, hoping that no one was nearby.

"Its not wrong though. Its perfectly normal. People are different and there's nothing wrong with liking both women and mhpgpgp--"

In a flash, the world turned upside down. The sniper felt his body hit the wooden floor, echoing in the barracks and once again prayed that no one was around. His back screamed in pain and he sucked in a breath, dazed but just managing to realize what had happened.

"Why--"

""Don't." That was the blonde, words seethed in a harsh whisper. "Don't you _dare_ finish that last sentence."

_I'm not ready to admit it._ Usopp felt like he could hear the words unspoken and gazed up at Sanji, unable to move because the chef's foot was poised at his throat, both a threat and a promise.

The darker teen sighed, a wave of sadness overwhelming him. He pushed away the taller's foot. "What did they do to you?"

"Eh? The hell are you on abo--?"

"They. Them. Whoever it was that made you like this." Usopp gestured vaguely at the blonde, hands shaking as he underwent the full force of that icy blue glare. "Whoever it was that made you so afraid. So disgusted with yourself. What did they do?"

There was silence. The younger didn't think he'd get an answer. But then Sanji spoke, so quietly that he almost missed it.

"They tortured me. They said I was a failure. Beat me until I was unrecognizable. They said women were only to be used as birthing machines or for pleasure purposes and because I was so weak I deserved to be treated like a woman. To be raped, used and cast aside, hidden from the public eye."

Sanji shuddered, arms clutching his sides as though for purchase. "Then I met old man Zeff and he was good to me. Real good. He believed in his own sense of chivalry and I was quick to uptake his ways. I did what I could to grow strong. Women were weak, and with men like..like _them,_ they needed to be protected. Because they were weak. It was a lesson _that_ man taught me. And I hate it. I hate it because that was the lesson that _stuck._ The ideology that I couldn't get rid of. And being with the old geezer made it both better and worse. When I noticed my...my attraction to men, I was horrified. Because I associated it with being a woman. And being a woman was the same as being weak. Even after I've been proven wrong thousands of times by Nami-swan and Robin-chwan, I can't help it."

Usopp could scarcely believe what he was hearing and felt an rare surge of protectiveness for his friend. He wanted to march to Luffy and set course towards the asshole who traumatized his nakama and _destroy_ them. Gently, he placed a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Listen," The curly head started softly. "I'm going to seem like a dick for asking you this but...do you love him? Zoro?"

"Yes." The word was grit out, soft and filled with warmth, yet tinged in resentment.

The sniper smiled, a small one without a trace of trickery.

"Good. It'll all work out in the end then. And that's the Great Captain Usopp's 1000% guarantee!!!"

Sanji let out a small laugh, head tossed back and cheeks wet from where the tears had been falling.

Usopp saw, but kept quiet. The chef had let out enough secrets tonight, and was honest almost to a fault. He'd earned the right to cry.

And besides...Usopp had nothing else to say.

The blond didn't need to know that both the sniper and the village girl Kaya had already been together for 2 years. Long before Luffy, Zoro, and Nami came long, wreaking havoc and offering the teen a life on the seas.

Sanji didn't need to know at all.

Since it was only a white lie.

**Author's Note:**

> This was an interesting write.  
> Well, what'd you think??


End file.
